How much Freedom to Give Kids this Summer
School is out. That means kids running around the neighborhood and biking to friends’ houses. Some neighborhoods have an environment where parents feel safe allowing children as young as 8-10 some freedom. But how much summer freedom is truly safe for kids of all ages?
The Good Ole Days
Gen X parents fondly remember the summer days of their youth. Back then, parents sent kids out of the house after breakfast and told them to be back when “the streetlights come on.” A generous friend’s parent fixed lunch or snacks for the group. Drinks came straight from an available water hose. Without cell phones or GPS, kids had the freedom to roam. Or if they were lucky, they might pile into someone’s station wagon for a trip to the park or pool. Parents felt comfort in the shared assumption that the “village” was watching out for all the kids.
The Rise of Helicopter Parenting
The mid 1980s saw dramatic changes in the freedom of those days. Often tied to the highly publicized abduction of Adam Walsh, many parents went to the opposite extreme. Helicopter parenting was born. Helicopter parenting refers to the hovering over children – in all aspects of their lives. From school to sports to playdates, the days of independence and freedom were long gone.
Several research studies have been conducted to understand the change in mental health of today’s young people. One finding reported by Psychology Today, that “Today, by at least some estimates, five to eight times as many high school and college students meet the criteria for a diagnosis of major depression and/or anxiety disorder as was true half a century or more ago.” A look into this phenomenon by Jean Twenge at San Diego State University showed that young people today have much less sense of feeling in control of things than in decades past. In fact, they are more likely to believe that things are outside their control and influence. Lack of control is a leading cause of anxiety. So it could be argued that parents hovering over their children’s lives has backfired.
A Happy Medium
In 2021 the state of Texas passed a law that allows children some unsupervised time in a safe environment without risk of the parents being accused of neglect. The law helps children have more “reasonable independence.” In addition, it allows them to develop their own problem solving and social skills. So what does this mean for parents who want to find the right balance?
Freedom of Independence
What does reasonable independence look like?
- As early as 4 years old, a child can be dropped off at a friend’s house to play. The parents can run an errand or go home and relax.
- Most agree that 7 years old is a good age to introduce sleepaway camp. Kids have the freedom to experience new things on their own. Also, they get to make their own decisions like what activities they want and keep themselves organized.
- School age kids can walk alone to a friend’s house down the street under the watchful eye of the parent. Older elementary kids should also be able to ride bikes in the neighborhood and play outside with friends. Parents can set rules of how often they need to check in. Or they can have GPS tied to a device so they never worry about where the child is.
- Middle school and older kids may be ready to be dropped off in public (mall or movies) in groups without an adult.
These guidelines will vary from child to child. Some children are more mature and responsible and some might need a tighter rein. Determining whether kids are ready to be at home alone is another step in building their independence.
We Can Help!
Cultris Security can help you keep an eye on the kids this summer with a doorbell camera or alarm alerts. Make the house easily accessible with automated door locks. Call us at 281-506-8466 or reach out for a quote today.
Photo by Ron Lach on pexels.com
